


We'll Always Have Paris

by missbecky



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 20:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/654167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky/pseuds/missbecky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve wants Tony to punch his V-card, but not for the reason Tony is hoping for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll Always Have Paris

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scrollgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrollgirl/gifts).



> Originally written for the Cap-Iron Man Holiday Gift Exchange. The title is one of the saddest movie quotes ever, from the great "Casablanca."

_Careful what you wish for,_ went the old proverb, and Tony Stark is here to confirm it: truer words were never spoken.

****

"I want you to be my first," Steve said.

And Tony's heart stopped.

****

Well, hold on. That's not really the beginning, though.

****

It starts like this. One day Tony looks at Steve and realizes that somewhere along the way, he stopped hating the living legend and started seeing the man. That in fact his feelings now can be summed up as mild indifference, and at times a weird sort of impatient tolerance.

Later that week, though, as a uniformed Steve bends down to pick up his shield, Tony can't help but notice his very tight, very fine ass. And after that, he's forced to add "inconvenient lust" to the list in his head that he's currently calling Annoying Feelings I Have About Steve Rogers.

(He knows it's not a very good name. He's still working on that part.)

Anyway, the point is, now that he's noticed Steve's ass, it only follows that he notices other things about Steve. His eyes. His hands. His confident stride. His incredible shoulder-to-hips ratio.

Tony's not a religious man and he's definitely not sentimental, but right now he's very thankful for things like Steve Rogers's ass. Before now, pretty much the only thing he was ever grateful to his father for was taking enough time away from drinking and bomb-making to sire him. Now though, given the chance, he'd like to thank Howard for his role in creating Captain America.

Nice to know that at least one member of the Stark family got something right.

****

It turns out that Steve is not the fuddy-duddy Tony thought he would be. In fact, Steve eagerly seeks out new experiences, and he learns very quickly. He embraces technology whole-heartedly. Tony would like to pretend that he takes Steve under his wing and teaches him…except that that isn't what happens at all. It's true that Steve does come to him to ask for some help at first, but that lasts exactly eighty-three minutes. Then he's off and away, bounding like a sled dog across the snow, tablet in one hand, Starkphone in his ear.

"They grow up so fast," Tony sighs.

"Sir?" JARVIS asks.

"Nothing," he says.

****

About two days after that, Tony leaves his bedroom and nearly has a heart attack when he sees Steve standing in the hall, clearly waiting on him. He manages to cover his jolt of surprise by reaching up to check the knot in his tie, and says, "What's up, Cap?"

"I wanted to ask… Oh, are you busy?" Steve says. He looks a bit nervous, which is unusual for him.

"Depends on who you ask," Tony says cheerfully. "Pepper will tell you that yes, I am. I will tell you that I am actually already bored to death and simultaneously full of the ominous dread and foreboding that accompanies a visit to the board members of Stark Industries. What can I do you for?"

"I just, I wanted to ask you a favor," Steve says, and he's almost stammering. It's utterly adorable.

"Sure, what is it?" He can't help preening a little, and also, glancing down at the rather tight jeans Steve is wearing.

"I um," Steve hesitates and looks down. "They say if you want something done right, you should go to an expert. And I, um." He stops. "You know what, this can wait. You're on your way out, it's no big deal, I can, erk!" He makes another totally adorable noise as Tony grabs his elbow and bodily pulls him into the bedroom.

"Spill it, Cap," Tony orders. He folds his arms and stands there waiting.

And ah crap, now Steve is getting red in the face. "I just wanted to ask… You know how I was, before… And I was never very good with women. I mean, there was Peggy but that was all and now I know _why_ I wasn't that good with women and anyway…" He takes a deep breath, but instead of stopping right there, he just keeps rambling on. And as interesting as all this is, Tony can feel his eyes start to glaze over because oh my God Rogers just get to the point, when Steve suddenly says, "I want you to be my first."

And Tony's heart stops.

Because holy shit is this for real? Captain America is gay _and_ a virgin? How can this be real?

And then it hits him what Steve is asking, really hits him, and he maybe chokes a little. Captain America is a) gay, 2) a virgin, and d) asking him, Tony Stark, to punch his V-card. It's everything he's been wanting…

…and it's all wrong.

And holy shit, this _is_ for real. This is as real as it gets, and it's all kinds of wrong. He should be exulting now, gloating over how of course Steve came to him for this, because who else can be counted on to do it right, who else will give Steve the time of his life? Instead all he wants to do is shrivel up and move to Antarctica and change his name and live in anonymity among the emperor penguins as narrated by Morgan Freeman. Because yeah this is what he wanted, but he never wanted it like _this._

"Tony?"

"Uh. Yeah." He clears his throat, and realizes with total and utter dismay that he can now add one more item to his list of Annoying Feelings I Have About Steve Rogers: unrequited longing.

Oh, he is so screwed.

 _Careful what you wish for,_ he thinks, and it's all he can do not to burst into loud, slightly hysterical laughter.

Steve is staring at him now, slightly wild-eyed, and he's got to say something here before he fucks this up for good. "Well, as flattering as that lovely offer is," he says, "and by the way, you really need to work on your negotiation skills, I really don't have time for this right now. Pepper will kill me if I don't show up today. So, ah, how about we table this discussion for a future date?"

"Okay." Steve nods. He doesn't look crushed or miserable or anything at all, really. He just stands there as Tony walks by him on his way out the door. "Oh, and Tony?"

Tony turns around. "Yeah?"

"Thanks," Steve says, and smiles at him.

Tony Stark does not flee from anyone or anything, especially in his own home – because that would just be undignified – but he comes awfully damn close then.

****

The board meeting is interminable. His presentation on the latest and greatest version of the Starkphone goes well – which it damn well should, considering that he's actually being serious for once – but he can't keep his mind on it. He goes through the motions, reciting the words by rote, and listening to him is probably as exciting as watching paint dry. Fortunately the new phone is guaranteed to bring the company millions, and that's pretty much all the board cares about. It's almost like the old days again, when Obie would trot him out to the board to unveil his newest ideas and inventions, everyone would congratulate themselves and there would be a lot of back-slapping and cigar-lighting, then he would be shuffled off to the lab again to do his dirty work like some nasty little secret SI hid from the world.

Which, if he is being totally honest, was how he had preferred it. He never liked playing the corporate schmooze.

At last the meeting ends – or at least, his part in it does, and he's able to make a graceful exit. The car brings him back to the Tower and now there's nothing standing in the way. Now he's back home, where one Steve Rogers also happens to live, and he's got a decision to make.

****

Not that it's much of a decision.

Of course he says yes.

****

So they do it, and it's everything Tony knew it would be, and he's pretty sure Steve's mind is blown (along with other, more fun parts of him). On the one hand he'd like to strut with pride over this fact, because of course it was good, because hello, he's Tony Stark, and there's a reason he includes _playboy_ in his list of accomplishments.

But on the other hand, he can't remember a time when he felt so crappy after such mind-blowing sex. Possibly this has never happened before, in which case he needs to open a new file and start compiling data.

For now, though, he settles for buttoning up his shirt in a chilly sort of silence, and tries not to wonder about the various people he's paid over the years to fulfill this function and if they ever felt like this – cheap, used, and counting the seconds until they could get the hell out of here.

"Tony?" Last night Steve had shown a couple moments of touching virgin insecurity, but mostly he had been all gung-ho about things. Now he sounds uncertain again, and frankly it's the last thing Tony wants to hear from him.

"Yeah?" He smooths both hands through his hair, trying to flatten it a little from its usual wild fuck-me state after a night like this one. It's best not to advertise what he's been doing, not when he lives with four people who could kill him with their pinky fingers alone.

"I, um," Steve says, and Tony cuts him off right there with a terse, "Don't thank me."

"I wasn't going to," Steve says quickly, then winces a little, no doubt realizing how ungrateful he sounds. "I mean, I _am_ thankful, but that wasn't…" He stops, lips pursed in a frown of frustration.

There's two things Tony can do here. He can be a complete dick and make some nasty comment, then leave. Or he can suck it up and keep his dignity, and maybe, if he's lucky, keep a friend while he's at it. (And okay, _friend_ is pushing things, but he refuses to think of Steve in any other way right now, because that is just so not a good idea.)

Normally, it would be no contest: option one all the way. But this is Steve. And while the sex last night was very good, he is somewhat stunned to realize that given the choice, he would prefer to keep Steve as a friend and not just as a fuckbuddy.

Apparently there really _is_ a first for everything.

So he smiles and says, "No worries, Cap. I know."

This is apparently the wrong thing to say, though. Because Steve's frown just deepens. "No, you don't know."

"Er, okay," Tony says, and focuses on tucking his shirt in.

"I'd like to keep this between us," Steve says. "Not that I mind them knowing what we did, but about me, you know…"

It's beyond ridiculous, how much that requests hurts. Like Steve expects him to call a press conference and broadcast to the world that Captain America was a virgin, like who does Steve think he is…oh wait.

He manages a tight-lipped smile. "Don't worry," he says brightly. "It'll be our secret."

Steve does not look terribly reassured by this, which means he's definitely smarter than he looks. Or else that the others have gotten to him and told him that Tony Stark is not to be believed, no matter what he says or how earnestly he says it.

"Well, listen," he says, still in that falsely hearty voice that he hates, because his father talked like that and Obadiah talked like that and he always swore he would never talk like that but here he is anyway, "I've got some things that need inventing and you've probably got a kitten in a tree that needs rescuing. So, ah, I'll just, I'll see you later." And on that wonderful parting note, he makes his second hasty retreat in as many days.

****

Turns out it's not a kitten that needs rescuing when the call from SHIELD comes in three hours later. It's a group of people trapped in a bank, courtesy of the Wrecking Crew. The Avengers make short work of it though (Thunderball pretty much shits himself when he sees the Hulk bearing down on them, and that's it for the Crew's latest attempt at supervillainy), and they're back in the Tower only two hours after they left it.

It's not long enough for Tony, though. He needs to clear his head of this Steve mess, and quick. At the bank, he worked well with Steve, even following orders as needed. But that's one thing. That's Iron Man and Captain America. He knows how that works. This other thing, the one involving Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, he needs to figure this out. _Now._

They're all dispersing, Bruce off to his lab, Natasha to wherever she goes when she isn't playing super-spy-assassin-Avenger. Tony has every intention of finding somewhere private so he can (brood) sort things out, when Steve flags him down. "Hey Tony, Clint and I are going to go to this paintball place. You want to come?"

Paintball. With Steve and Clint. There are approximately nine hundred thousand things Tony would rather do than take part in another one of Steve's attempts to experience new things every day and embrace this crazy world he woke up in. More to the point, he suddenly knows that he can't do this, he really can't.

And there's his answer. He knew it all along, really. He just didn't want to accept it.

Well, it's no biggie. Right? He can pine quietly, in secret. He's done it before. Maybe not so much with the secret part, but the pining he's used to. He can do this.

And what the hell. He's got one night of happy memories, of Steve smiling at him, hands clutching the sheets so tightly his knuckles were white, his name whispered husky on Steve's breath. It's enough. It has to be enough.

 _We'll always have Paris,_ he thinks, and he smiles.

"No thanks," he says. "You kids go on without me. Just make sure you're home by curfew."

Clint rolls his eyes and Steve smiles back. "Okay, but you don't know what you're missing out on."

Tony just watches them go. "Yeah, I do," he says quietly, after they're gone and there's no one around to hear, only JARVIS, the way it always comes back to.

He stands there for a moment longer, then he sighs. He better get moving.

He's got work to do.


End file.
